Craftsman Daughter

I've always been in and out of touch with my father's main pieces; his necklaces. He has been good with his hands since I can remember. There was always some new art he had to share with us. Constant inspiration. He bled art. He's greatly known for his beautiful, classic neck pieces that I've had a hate/love relationship for. I subconsciously hated them because they were so obviously ahead of my time. Even when I pulled them out on special occasions I still felt as if I were wearing my mother's teenage clothing that didn't fit right. These gorgeous family jewels were constantly praised around me. But because of their advancement I couldn't participate with the cheers.

Being that my father made them with his sweat,blood, and tears. They were his prized possessions, his beginning and end of life. Just as he claimed and expressed we were;his family. Maybe I felt like I was competing with them, like a little girl envy. I hated to love them but I wanted to be just like them.

Today, as I make my own necklaces and other beaded jewelry. I can only think of his own which for me is the top notch for elegance. I couldn't deny their beauty then but as I create my own I get to appreciate more and more where it stems from. So now when I have my sessions and I'm in the zone I use them as my personal template for whats perfect. Myself included when I look into the mirror.

It's amazing what a little bead can do.

I find myself thinking of ways to bring them upfront and to the limelight because of their authenticity. The craftsmanship and aesthetic is undeniable. I now use these gems as an every day "pick me up" to be as beautiful as I can allow myself to feel. Its a relief to be able to depend on something that I don't have to wait to speak. I just get it a glance on my neck and the ripple begins.

Propaganda at its Finest!

This video set a fire inside of me that I could not put out. We do not have to search for these messages and hidden agendas when they are thrown in our faces.

I cursed my mother the other day by forcing her to watch "Basketball Wives Reunion" with me. VH1 no matter how I curse that channel. I find myself still tuning into their cheap reality, regardless of my embarrassment and pity toward the people who settle to be showcased. My so called inner "black activist" self will throw all morals out the window for the sake of my own entertainment. Even when I'm appalled I am in some way still enthralled with the degrading behavior. Before I can get into why I think that is so I think I figured out why so many black men and women decide to succumb to such work. For me money can't put a price on my pride or dignity. Even IF I was money hungry I can't imagine turning into a different person and showing out for a dollar and a little fame. The idea that one person will represent for all of their race is a disgusting policy. But all in all its a dead system of hierarchy that continually proves one race must constantly prove themselves. That group obviously being those who audition,fight,scrape, and will burn down any and every one to get their "spot". I think we all can agree that we would just never end up on "Charmed School" and you couldn't imagine being so ratchet on "The Love of Ray-J".

That would never be you? Right?

Can you imagine if someone offered to pay you $100 dollars a day just to participate in a short game show? Do you think you would turn that down if you were just tired of working your 9-5? All you have to do is read a few lines,wear a few clothes, and basically trade in who you are to be who they want you to be. Think about it. I can't say what I would or wouldn't do because I've never had someone offer me money.

But awhile ago my old step coach asked me what would I do if someone offered me a few million dollars for my line of accessories. Taking a step back I had to be honest and I told her I would decline.

If someone noticed my worth and wanted to triple it for themselves, but kick me out of the picture. It only makes sense for me to put out the work to make that kind of money myself.

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My mother had just asked me so simply as if it weren't deep rooted; but why would these women succumb to this kind of behavior? Why were these women dressed in expensive clothing and jewelry treat each other the opposite of their appearances. They were beautiful, they had bodies to die for, and of course, their hair was in place from strand to strand. Yet my mother could not grasp why women who looked of such caliber had attitudes and personalities as nasty as New Jersey smells. And contrary to popular belief not all women who portray these outside beauties have ugly insides. I never could put my finger on it but I do feel I figured out some of this mystery.

I would like to call this the "They chose me system". It is amazing to win, anything in fact. I can safely say that we all want to be the best at something if not everything. It feels damn good to be "chosen". Think back to school at how exhilarating it was to win kick ball or the best painting. I know for me I always looked forward to being "Student of the Month". For my face to be plastered on a huge bulletin board was an honor, it meant that my work and efforts exceeded over everyone in the school. That was something, to rise above alll of the other students and be the best. When you get a chance to win something that you had to work for will show you that any old prize ain't always the best prize.

Then there was the lesson my father taught me that helped filtered out years of me chasing after boys and beating myself up if every guy in school didn't desire me. He told me that they only wanted my draws, nothing more nothing less. At the time of-course I still wanted to be liked and as a young girl I thought I needed the attention. What that did for me was show me that I was not special. Being taught that my flesh was the prize possession I knew it had nothing to do with me. Everyone had flesh and I was no different. I know the negative proportions of that teaching couldn't compare to the humble notions it instilled in me. If I wanted to be treated a certain way I had to make sure someone loved me for who I was and not for what they could get from me.

The women on Basketball Wives feel accomplished to be chosen to be "THEE" Basketball Wife. They get the glory of having fans and haters. They are paid to appear on television as other women were left behind and unpaid. They also reap the benefits of post show stardom (if any). Although these women can pay their full success to the show being their #1 advertisement. I believe that they believe they are successful and have made it. This depends of-course on how you grade success. To go from being "Student of the Month" to being chosen to appear on reality TV which had nothing to do with my homework,attendance,test scores, and overall participation in class. I don't think being mocked and degraded is synonymous to being rewarded as the best and standing out from everyone else.

In My Head

"The Man in My Basement"

Walter Mosley

Reading has been one of my ALL time favorite hobbies that was discovered very young. I'm sure I've stated this one time or another on here. But I constantly challenged myself to complete the 25 book challenge in grade school. I still have some of my certificates. There is something about a book that completely fills my soul with all sorts of un-explainable happiness. This past summer I have become so indulged in creating (as I had the right to). I totally put off my favorite past time hobbies. I guess I've been trying to spice up my "bio" with more than "I love to read and write". But in all honesty the amount of pleasure and joy I obtain from reading is just indescribable. For me nothing compares to the possible paper cut from my fresh new book. I am an anti- eReader by the way. Its just not the same. What if something happens to my sweet old kindle? How could I possibly pass down my latest read to my friend or child. If you could just disregard my bias and listen to what I'm saying.

I was inspired to create my own list on how to stay creative from this original. Its so easy to become in-tuned with technology and all the greatness it has to offer. I'm all for staying connected and updating. But it can also be counter-productive to constantly working for new and "what's to be". You never get a chance to slow down and see what works and virtually what we end up looking for is the next best thing. Like our ultimate goal is to be ahead at all times but we still end up being in search of something. But not to stray too much off topic like I feel I've done. I began reading again and started slow with a goal of two books a month at random. Of course I'm now reading at the speed of 4 books per week. I buy my books from anywhere I can trying not to glance at the summary so I won't create a pattern.

I finished "The Man in My Basement" earlier today and had the urge to write but not particularly about the book. To start off I was not at all interested in reading any sort of black and white combination. My bad luck has been connecting me with stories that were set during the 1900s and/or are based on the plagues of being black. Now I could care less about offending anyone especially if what I'm stating is opinion based. It's a tired game walking on egg shells because of someone else's sensitive soul. But in concerns to what I would like to not ingest from every single aspect of my life is racism. I am no Oprah I'm aware we live in a racist world and I can see it may be getting worst. From what I read on the internet, to the news, to what I come across every single day without my consent. I would like some sort of control over that topic. I can't escape it and it is not going anywhere. I have been pumped with so much history I can spit it out and rewrite it. I am so sick to my stomach I can't fathom how I actually feel about it. Can a girl at least escape into a world where love is the worlds cure and vampires are superheros?

I did enjoy this interesting dynamic. Besides the unsatisfying end for me I was in-tuned with the real life characters that were put together in this fictitious read. It's a short book but I think worth the after thought.

Fall Collection and Life

I have been working on so much as of late. This summer has been a step to my next step and I'm so excited to be opening some doors to a new chapter. Between going back to school in New York, moving back to New York and starting my fall collection of bead work (Link'd w Allure). I don't know when I'm going to burn myself out, I will, happily fall onto my floor with exhaustion. I don't want to relieve too much although I have already. I always like to keep things under wraps until I'm completely settled. I've just been away for awhile and couldn't help but to share some exciting news.

I'm also working on my website for "Link'd w Allure" my fall line of beaded necklaces,bracelets, hair accessories, and men's wear. My father was the first to introduce me to beading and his skill has always intimated me of venturing off into my own style. Something inside of me felt that wasn't my area and I should stick with a glue gun and duct tape. But I have been trying things that I have never done before so I can get results I've never gotten. Its always arousing to discover a new "project" to run with. There's a fire that lights and last for long, an encouraging and refreshing burn. You get this push to concur your to do list you've abandon and get things done, all the while closing out other projects.

I took the down time we had during the storm watch to catch up on my men's wear line (Street View) which basically consists of chain, over sized pendants, and beads. I have took all consideration of what I see being sold in and out of stores but most importantly whats being requested by customers. Wrapped it up with my flair and twist and came up with over 50 designs (lol I know get a life). I am beyond confident that I've hit it on the nail with these accessories. I really feel like I need to be after down playing my capability for so long if I don't believe in me then who else will.

Here are a few other snap shots of my bracelets and hair accessories. They will all be available online September 3rd but for now there are a few up in the shop. Once the official website for my fall line hits you will be ale to order all "Link'd w Allure" products along with "Street View". I have yet to take some photos of my necklaces but there will definitely be an official photo shoot once the website is up which will probably be at the end of September.

For now I will leave you with a photo preview and can always promise you your very first update, on me, here at christielover.com.

Pt Two of my Imperfections

I'm not actually bragging about my bad habits or even boosting about them. I just like to pick and poke at them to create a bigger picture to allow me to shake them off. I'd rather laugh at myself and make the light loader than become self conscious of what could be a serious flaw.

In "My Imperfections Pt. 1" I talk about one of my worst nail biting habits, how cheap I am, and my rawness. They were not so much imperfections but flaws that can be considered "cute" depending on how you are looking at it. I would like to get into a qualitie that have bit me in the ass but ultimately gives me a jump start in life.

I have yet to experience a serious pitfall for my "stubbornness" but I have been praised for it because its viewed as perseverance. I know though, how terrible it can be. I refuse to let down even when I am proven wrong, and even after apologies I deem myself right. I have to see things through my own eyes and no matter if I'm for warned I need to experience it myself. All many terrible character traits that I am constantly being called out for, by close friends and family members. It only bothers me when I know I can't do a switch-a-roo and change up for the better.

I was brought up on being versatile and its imperative to learn to adapt. For better or for worst and specifically for out of comfort zone situations. In terms of me being stubborn as I want to be, it has allowed me to put my foot down on my life goals. Which ultimately made me step my game up and challenge myself furthermore. I have turned this imperfection up to 100 and have allowed myself to say yes when an opportunity arises. No matter the impossible or the circumstance, I have re-taught myself the value of yes and eliminated no.

I have dismissed all my "can'ts" and "won't" and now go by "I will" and "I can". My drive allows me to see things from a different point of view. But my determination will put that view into play and this flaw will eventually get me where I need to go.

You heard that "where I need to go"